please be careful with me

After a long conversation on the bus last night with one very tired rocker, I am tempted to wonder - is there mutual exclusivity between being sensitive and being capable?

I'm a sensitive person. I can admit that at times I feel emotions in a way that overwhelms me. I happily indulge in movies, books and lengthly, intimate conversations over dessert that last until the waitress starts stacking the chairs on the tables. I cry for myself, and I cry for other people. Things that people say to me affect me deeply, even if they don't ever realize it. I worry sometimes about hurting other people's feelings - so I don't take my hamburger back when they put mustard and onions on it, when all I asked for was cucumber. My heart hurts and soars on a daily basis.

Does this make me irrational, or unable to be a strong, capable person?

I used to think so, because that's what everyone told me. I didn't realize that my sensitivity did not necessarily make me weak. I tried for a long time to be a 'rock' - emotionally capable, logical and even-tempered, thinking that this would gain me the respect that I so desired from my friends. But I think back over my life, and realize that my sensitivity helped me lead Frosh Week, and allows me to be a good coach, an empathetic TA and a loving friend and family member. I've handled myself in difficult situations, and have been a leader to a lot of people.

I don't want to be a wimp. I don't want to be a 'girl' (in that whining, passive sense). More than anything, I want to be respected. But at the same time, I have to find peace with myself, and understand that as long as I don't let it consume me - feeling things can be my strength, not my weakness.