Not To Fall in Love

Okay, so I didn't tell Adam last night that I hated him, because I didn't want to ruin what turned out to be a fast-paced and fun conversation. Plus, when someone compliments you, you're not going to turn around and dig out dirty stuff from the past, right? I didn't say anything about taking six months off of our relationship to finally get over him, didn't even tell him that I still NEEDED to get over him while I was in university. I just took it for what it was - a long and very satisfying conversation with my best friend. I don't think I need to bring up the past. I think that it's alright for me to know that I'm over him - I don't need him to know as well.

I told him that I might be moving back to Calgary for grad school, and he got really excited. We talked about all of the things that we used to do, that we could do again - eat pizza, make sundaes, rent a stack of movies, go roller blading, stay up all night driving around downtown, and end up crashing in his room at 6am. Talking all night in the dark about the most important things that we could imagine. Comparing soccer scars. Sleeping in. Tossing a football around. All of the best friend stuff that we both really miss. He told me I was still his best friend. That made me pretty happy - because of all the things that have changed in my life, Adam is still always going to be Adam. Same happy voice, same odd taste in music, same smile. That's home for me. Everything else is so unsure and scary right now, but talking to Adam is home.

So that's that. I still don't know if I'm going to go to Calgary, Vancouver, or stay here - but at least I know that I'll have somewhere to stay in Calgary. I told Adam all about S ... everything that has been going on in the past 3 weeks. It felt good to talk about it. He laughed at how easily I give my heart away, and he made me promise not to fall in love.

Actually - here's a bit of our conversation (from my memory):

A: Bri? Listen to me. You gotta promise me one thing. That's all I'm asking for here, but it's important.
B: Promise you something? Adam, you know that I'll never promise you anything (winks)
A: No, I'm being serious here - just hear me out. I want you to promise me on our friendship that you're not going to fall in love.
B: With who, S?
A: Yes. Now before you get mad, here's my thought. You're newly single, you're finishing up your last year at Q's - keep spending time with this guy, keep talking to him, you should even keep kissing him. But just focus on the here and now. Don't think about love.
B: Oh boy. Yeah, I can do that.
A: Good. Cause I'm going to call you in June, and ask you if you love him, and THEN you can tell me. But until then - live these next few months day by day.

Okay - so I made a promise not to fall in love. How hard could that be?