This Place in Time

I guess I'm sorry for the lack of meaningful content here lately. I mean, I AM sorry, but I guess it hasn't been too meaningful. Truth be told, I haven't really been thinking lately, if that makes any sense at all to you. In fact, I haven't really be doing much of anything. It hasn't been that bad. I sleep in (working nights is an great way to excuse sleeping until noon every day), I read my emails. Sometimes I watch TV. I do laundry, and most nights, I go to work at the restaurant. While at work, I greet people, call reservations and basically stand around in my black skirt and black tank top, looking pretty.

It's been a really rough month. I've been going to the dentist 2 or 3 times a weeks and it's reached the point that when I'm not working or otherwise engaged in something I've committed myself to, I'm sleeping off the pain in my teeth. I hurt, I take drugs, I sleep. I don't even know if I'm tired anymore - it often just seems like a good way to pass the time before I can go to the dentist again. It's been a month since he started working on my teeth and I possibly only have 1 root canal to go before I'm officially done. I'm not sure; my dentist called me on my CELL phone today to tell me that my pain may be the cause of "nerve damage", but said "don't get scared - we'll just talk about it on Monday". This warrants a cell phone call? It must not be very fun to be a dentist. I'm not particularly found of mouths, and after what MY teeth have put me through lately (1300.00 of work in 3 weeks!) I'm not fond of them either.

So the point, or the lack of a point, is this: I've merely been existing. I haven't felt especially inspired or completely depressed. My emotions have been lackluster at best. All of my relationships (my life in general, really) have been uneventful. I haven't felt motivated or compelled to do anything, much less write about it. I hope that the start of a new month helps me to wake up. I really need something to be excited about right now.

While I was sleeping (literally), Toronto itself sidestepped into pseudo-spring; 5 glorious weeks where the weather peaks in the mid teens during the day, but the ground remains barren, the trees leafless, and garbage is all over the streets after being covered in snow for 3 months. It's not pretty, but it's reviving and refreshing. It's not sandal weather, but my cheeks don't hurt from the biting wind anymore, and I've retired my green ski jacket to the back of the laundry room. This is something, at least. It's nice to know that from here on in, the world is going to get a little warmer and a little greener every day. It always gives me something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning. And for someone who has simply been existing, this is ... well, like I said - it's something.