I'm wide awake it's morning

Netscape 7.2 is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only is it both functional and stylish, it makes surfing the internet *something I do a lot of* a lot easier and more intuitive. Yes, I am becoming tech-saavy and quite proud of it.

It's 5:30 in the morning and I don't have the energy to say everything that's flying around in my head right now, so a list of sorts is going to have to suffice:

• I got to walk with Marcus tonight for the first time ever, which was fantastic. The conversation wasn't stilted or forced and on a night where the service is being used to the point that people are lining up at the kiosk to wait for walks, it's good to be with someone that you genuinely get along with.
  
• I had a conversation with my dad tonight that made me both frustrated and scared. It is an unsettling feeling to know that your parents are sad, or that they're not coping. I am shocked at how vulnerable and devestated my father is right now (and shocked at the circumstances, which is another story altogether), and I hate feeling as though he needs me. How's that for selfish?
• I was crying tonight, making a mess of myself and generally wavering between being furious and completly destroyed, when Marcus turned to me and said, "after everything we've been through, you're still the best person I know". And this made me feel ... safe. Or something. It was nice to hear - knowing that our friendship is intact is hugely comforting to me

Today I am grateful for:
1. a spurt of productivity that allowed me to finish off my psychology essay with time to spare, when I usually would have been moping and procrastinating
2. discovering Netscape 7.2. I swear to god this program is going to change my life
3. The love and support of Steve, who never fails to surprise me with what a genuinely giving and humble person that he is. He takes the meaning of generosity to an entirely new level.
4. Feather pillows; the feeling of sinking into one that has been perfectly fluffed up
5. Lemon meraigne pie
6. Being able to sleep in tomorrow without worrying about having any obligations to anyone