Why English is hard to learn

I selfishly used to think- usually in the middle of a boring spanish class-that it would be beneficial if the entire world could just learn English. I mean - I learned it without even trying! But what I now know is that English is one of the strangest and most difficult language to acquire. Take this as an example (I found it fascinating!)

Why English is Hard to Learn
1. We must polish the Polish furniture.
2. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
3. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
4. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
5. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
6. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
7. I did not object to the object.
8. The bandage was wound around the wound.
9. The farm was used to produce produce.
10. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

Wild, hey? I guess it keeps me from taking things for granted.

Have a good wednesday, all

(just about) Street Smart

I was walking to meet Steve and a few friends on Friday night, from College Street down to Front. As I was crossing Queen, I waited at the light with three girls who looked like they were headed out for dinner, and overheard this conversation:

Girl 1: "Make sure that you keep your purse real tight against your body girl."

Girl 2: "I heard on Oprah that you gotta keep your zipper in, so they can't open it from the back"

Girl 3: "I ain't got nothin' in my purse that you gotta worry about. No cell phone, no money, nothing. Just kleenex"

Girl 1: "I tell you, I tell you - you gotta keep an eye on your purse. Zippers too. It's not like mississauga where you can just walk around"

Girl 2: "Amen to that"

And then we all crossed the street and they disappeared into the Queen Street crowd. I was like that when I moved to downtown toronto in September. Scared to ride the subway, scared to leave my house at night, scared that everyone who made eye contact with me was going to rob me blind. But I've (accidentally) left my purse, with keys, a wallet and a cell phone on a subway platform and got it back with everything, even the CASH, intact. It changed my view that I was unsafe in this city. Now, I feel pretty confident navigating around downtown. I've learned which places are safe, which places are sketchy, and which 7-11s have creepy people standing outside of them asking for your change. I've walked home from the restaurant I work at to my house after midnight and felt pretty safe. Toronto may be big, but it's not so bad. It was funny thinking of how far I've come with my "street smarts" ... though, to be honest, I still clutch my keys between my fingers so that I can attack anyone that comes too close to me. I guess deep inside, I'm still a big wuss. Now I'm just a big wuss who's doing okay in a big city.

A Life Less Ordinary

It's amazing how content I have been lately with ordinary. My days are perfectly ordinary; I catch the street car at 8:30, do some work until about 5, go home, do laundry, watch TV, talk to Steve, head to bed. I'm not bored. I'm not stuck in a rut. I'm just doing what I'm doing.

When I was younger, I used to write my goals for the year on the last page of my diary, carefully folding it over and writing "for my eyes only" on the back. My goals were simple. At 12, I wanted to do a good back handspring, keep my bedroom clean and kiss Adam Ford. At 16, I wanted to get the best marks in my grade. Last year, my goal was to get into my B.Ed program.

Right now? Nothing. That's what makes it so ordinary. I actually don't really have any goals, other than "have clean underwear" and "pack lunch for tomorrow". Like, seriously - I'm in a self-improvement lull. But it's no so bad. Maybe I like being me just the way I am right now. How often can we say that? "I am perfectly happy with myself in every respect". Everyone is always trying to be younger, faster, sexier (well, okay - of COURSE I'd like to be sexier), better better better. There's not a lot of peace in that. So here I am, saying that I am trying VERY HARD to be happy with my ordinary life.

In other news, I blew up the staff room microwave this morning. I thought I would nuke a couple of those mini peanut butter packets so that they would spread all warm over my toast. But instead, I caused an explosion so intense that it forced the microwave door OFF. It was just before lunch, too. Everyone had to walk to the other building to heat up their leftovers. So yeah, you could say that it's been an interesting day.

Life is simple. Simple is good. I have a clean room, beautiful weather, a good job, a smart boyfriend, a cool set of rollerblades.

(ADDENDUM: I just went catalogue shopping for office supplies, again. This good mood, therefore, may be totally elevated by the fact that I just bought 8 felt-tipped pens for myself. By 6pm, I could be a grouch again ... not that I'm ever a grouch)

Love is in the Air

My romantic astrological forcast for tomorrow is as follows:

"Your relationship is quite romantic, but it may not conform to other, more conventional ideas of moonlight, roses and violin music. So be it. You know that your connection isn't run-of-the-mill -- it's extraordinary."

So be it indeed. I can't help but to agree wholeheartedly - whether or not I always like it. So in honour of my not-romantic-yet-extraordinary relationship with my not-romantic-yet-always-unconventional-boyfriend, I've decided to post a little photo stream that I like to call

"The Many Faces of Steve Johns"










I have no comments except that I love my boyfriend very much; clearly evident by the hundreds of stupid photos I have of him stored on my computer.

Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head

It's raining today, and will be "heavy at times" according to the weather man. I don't mind the rain in the spring - I love how fresh it makes everything feel.

In honour of a *very* rainy day, here is a rain fact for all you Vancouver haters:

In 2005, Vancouver got 1016mm of rain. New York City recieved 1014mm of rain (not to mention all of the additional snow), which means that NYC gets more precipitation annually than Vancouver. Seattle only recieved 918mm of rain all year!
People think that it rains every day in Vancouver, but that's not necessarily true. It rains *hard* during the winter and is often misty without a lot of direct sunlight, but it's not like we live under some perpetual rain cloud. So you all can go hate on a different city.

I'm glad I cleared that up.

Today's Theme Song: Rain Drops Keep Fallin' On my Head (Ben Folds version)

Awkward, at best

In case you were wondering this afternoon how dexterous I REALLY am, consider this: two mornings ago, while carefully shaving my legs with a new razor, I cut off a 2-inch long, half-inch wide strip of skin. I looked down at my bleeding leg and wondered to myself (in a terrifying moment of pain) how long it might take me to bleed to death.

15 band-aids and 24 hours lated, the cut is still bleeding. I refuse to believe that I need it stiched, however am confined to wearing long pants for at least the next few weeks while it heals.

And you wonder why I didn't end up becoming a doctor :)

Live from Niagara Falls

The concert last night was a lot of fun, but surreal at the same time (I was watching one of my favorite artists in a 3/4 full gymnasium populated with abercrombie and fitch-wearing floozies american university students...making me feel totally old and un-cool) Highlights: Hearing "Still Fighting It" (my recent Ben Folds life-theme-song, featuring the lyrics "everybody knows/it sucks to grow up/but everybody does/it's so weird to be back here"). 1 Angry Dwarf and 200 Solomn Faces (double time encore version). People watching from the top seat of the stands. Mr. Folds standing on top of his piano, leading the audience in a 3-part choral harmony to accompany "Not the Same". The improvised "Rock This Bitch (Niagara Falls)". Folds awkwardly playing the Star Spangled Banner on the bass guitar.
Overall, a very cool way to spend a Saturday night. I think I would like to go back to the Falls and spend more than 45 minutes there ... a very fantastical and alternate-universe type of city. I was blown away by how commercialized the community is. They've bastardized the most beautiful natural wonder in Canada ... the hundreds of Falls-centric stores, restaurants and casinos devalue what is so wonderful about it in the first place. It was fun and sad at the same time, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, here are a few pics (I didn't take many). Time to rent a movie and relax - a full work week ahead.
The street I live on (so pretty in the spring!)
Flowers in my neighbour's garden
Fat Guts goes international!



The American side of the Falls (we didn't have time to walk over to the 1,000,000 times more spectacular Canadian side)

Ben Folds Live

It snuck up on me without me realizing it - tonight I get to strike Ben Folds (without the Five, but still rockin', hopefully) off of my "Top 5 People I Haven't Seen In Concert" list (which still includes Paul McCartney, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Norah Jones, but I digress)

I don't know what to expect from the show tonight. We're seeing it at Niagara University just across the border. I'm basically going in open-minded; I don't think that a lot of his newest stuff (off of "Songs for Silverman") is particularly groundbreaking, but he has such an incredible catalogue that pretty much anything is possible.

In particular, I'm hoping for:
The Luckiest (obviously, since I am a female)
1 Angry Dwarf and 200 Solomn Faces
Still Fighting It (my BFF favorite)
Fred Jones Part II
Best Imitation of Myself

I started listening to Ben Folds in 1993 when I discovered, by accident, Rockin' The Suburbs (I found the album in my school's lost and found where I volunteered ... at the end of the year when it went unclaimed, I took it home) Maybe for nostalgia's sake, it's still what I believe to be their best album. This night, therefore, is 13 years in the making for me and I'm sure whatever happens, I'm going to leave happy.

Pictures and review to follow. Happy Saturday!

New Job, New Bri

I just finished my first week of my summer job (for this year and potentially for next year), doing HR for a certain national fair that takes places in August and the beginning of September. Amidst the paperwork, coffee breaks and meeting about 100 new co-workers who I can't really tell apart, two things stand out to me so as being worthy of the following: Best Things About My New Job

Best Thing About My New Job #1: I have a 30,000 dollar expense budget for office supplies. Keep in mind that I have been very, VERY poor lately and haven't even had the motivation to window shop. Keep in mind how happy I am when I am let loose in the mall with a few dollars in my pocket. What does 30 grand and an empty office equal?

SHOPPING.

Not just any shopping. Catalogue shopping - the most delicious and forbidden type. I flip through the pages, mark down the order numbers ... and it magically arrives at my office later the same day. It's like communicating directly with God. I've bought pens, hole punchers, desk organizers, notebooks and whatever else I feel I might need to do my job properly. I get absolutely drunk on shopping power, and feel like it's christmas every time another box from Corporate Express arrives in my office via the cute-as-a-button high school mail boy. Right now, all I can think about is what I'm going to order on monday.

Best Thing About My New Job #2: The dusting Machine.

I don't know what to call it. I don't understand how it works. But the first thing I saw when I got my office was this: It's a duster. A duster that sprays air out a tiny hole, and is capable of dusting ANYTHING ... underneath my keyboard. In the corner of my windowsill where all the outside dirt piles up. In the little nooks and crannies of my desk that a swiffer would never dream of reaching. I am drunk on dusting power (and a bit intoxicated by the fumes).

All I have to say, after my first week on the job: bless us, everyone, who work in such amazing conditions.