Goodbye, Walkhome

I have never known how to handle goodbyes, so I generally disregard them. I'm much more a fan of "I'll see you soon". I don't dwell on an end, but try to put myself facing all of the beginnings so that I don't get stuck in the past.

The preamble is to introduce the fact that I am working my last walkhome shift right now, sitting on the familiar couches with the familiar people with the familiar feeling of home. Walkhome was something that I feel into and it literally changed the course of my life. One summer ago I was sitting here with Steve, wondering how I could get him to notice me. Now, I'm calling him to say "I love you" before I sleep. Something about that has to be very, very right. But I'm not sad. Walkhome ended when my undergrad ended, and I am ready to leave Queens and everything that it gave me. I don't want to stick around and see it change, see my memories and my foundations disintegrate as new people coming and old people leaving weaken the things here that made me feel so strong. I don't want to stick around, y'know? By April 21, I was very ready to be done. Working my last walkhome shift is just another step towards being able to close the book on a very incredible and successful period of my life, and another step towards opening a new one.

Walkhome, it's been a slice. You gave me a new family at Queens, -40 degree weather, a feeling that I belonged, amazing conversations, life long friends and a boyfriend that I could have never imagined would have changed my life in so many ways. For that, I offer my thanks. It's been a hell of a ride, and I'm glad I took it, if only to be able to look back so fondly.

-b