Break the Wind

In my student teaching, I'm working with a History 10 class, some sections of Civics 10 and a class of ESL students learning literacy skills. Today in my 4th period class, one of the 10 kids that I teach farted. It's a fact. I was helping a girl with her homework for another class and all of a sudden we both wrinkled our noses up. A couple of kids snickered. My mentor-teacher was looking at me pointedly and I couldn't admit to her that I had NO idea what to do. They don't prepare you for farting in teacher's college.

So I thought that I would take the high road. As the mature and focused leader of the classroom, I wouldn't mention it at all, even though by this time the entire class smelled like manure and burnt rice.

"It reeks back here!" I hear someone shout. "Who fucking farted?"

I couldn't ignore it anymore - either the fart, which keeps on smelling, or the behaviour of my students. Half gagging, I say,

"(name of student) - we're not on the playground. Try phrasing that in a more appropriate way." The kid looks at me and answers,

"I think someone broke wind."

The group of Asian girls in the back whip out their Chinese-English electronic translators and type in "broke wind". They have NO clue what the conversation is about but they know it's worth getting in on. One girl comes up to me,

"Miss, what is 'break wind' meaning?"

I thought about it. I said to her "The smell, you know the smell?" We both take a deep breath. Eeeewwww. "THAT, is breaking wind. It's an idiom."

The girl literally explodes with laughter. I passed her in the hall after school and she was still convulsing, gasping for air. "Break wind" she looks up at me and manages to whisper, "he break wind!"

He certainly did. If only I could get them that interested in my lesson plans, I'd be a star