In honour of it being the general time of year that we celebrate fatherhood in all its variations, I thought I would write something about my dad. Doing so presents to me the same problem that I have when I go into card stores to buy him a Father's Day card, which is the following:

Things my Dad Doesn't Do:
1. Golf
2. Fish
3. Yard work
4. Mr. Fix It stuff around the house
5. Teach his kids to throw a baseball
6. Watch sports
7. Fart
8. Go to his kids soccer games
9. Care about cars
10. Help with homework
11. give 20 bucks to fill up the car
12. Teach about the birds and bees
13. Kill spiders

What I'm trying to say is, my dad isn't really a dad at all. So all those cards with pictures of old men fishing on them aren't exactly accurate. Neither are the sappy ones saying "you're always there for me", because - well, he's not.

I'm not complaining or looking for sympathy. I knew from a young age that my dad was "eccentric" (which is really the nice way of saying anti-social, strange and an addict). He moved out when I was very young and I've never really had a consistent relationship with him. The only time I remember us talking, REALLY talking, was when he took me out for sushi for my 11th birthday (I hated sushi, but he wasn't really paying attention when I told him that) and tried to teach me about the String Theory and the Butterfly Effect. My dad is brilliant - like, a legitimate genius, but always looks at me like he wishes I was some sort of book. Books he knows what to do with. Kids, he doesn't.

So back to Hallmark, shall we? I've almost exhausted all of my possibilities. The card that I finally come across has a picture of a little girl on her dad's shoulders, reading "Loved the View, Love You" and inside, "Still Do". It was simple and acknowledged our relationship without pointing out everything it isn't, wasn't and could never be.

Do I wish someone was there to tell my first boyfriend to have me home by 10? Sure. Did I desperately want someone to help me with my soccer drills in the field behind our house? Of course. But my dad is who he is; although I can't really say that we're close, I understand and accept the role that he's played in shaping who I am. Growing up without him, I learned to play sports, fix a car, build a shed and take fish off of the hooks without needing to call a man to help me. Maybe that's a good thing.

At any rate, happy father's day old man. You may have not known how to be a dad, but you've always been my father. I hope you know that I understand.