A Personal History of Valentine's Day

Today is, by far, my favorite holiday of the year. I am, by definition, a lover - a romantic, sappy, wimpy, love-lover. I decided in high school that if I was going to be remembered for anything in my life, it would be for loving people completely. This holiday, therefore, plays to all of my sensitivities and secret desires to be adored, and has thus drove every boyfriend I've ever had totally crazy.

I've had valentines in my life since grade four, when Ross Adams wrote me a card and put it in the shoe box on my desk. On everyone else's card, he wrote "From Ross", but on mine, he wrote "Love Ross!". The front had a picture of Moose from the Archie comics on it, scratching his head and thinking in a little thought bubble, "I like you so much, I'm confused!" I remember blushing when I pulled it out among the 28 other Valentines, comparing it to the ones he gave my friends. I don't think that Ross and I ever actually exchanged more than a few words in the entire time we knew each other, but I taped that Valentine to the inside of my desk and kept it there for the rest of the year. My love affair with Valentine's Day had begun.

I dated boys in junior high and high school, and only spent one Valentine's day not 'with' someone, which I spent fitfully hoping that my best friend Adam would show up at my house with tulips and declare his undying love for me (this never happened, although I had dreampt about it for years). Otherwise, I would be happily embroiled in the drama of a teenaged relationship, exchanging carefully chosen Valentines that didn't actually say the word "love" in them (I didn't want to seem too desperate)

In university, I spent three Valentine's Days with a boyfriend who was so busy with his commerce midterms that he didn't even bother to leave Goodes Hall for food, much less to celebrate with me. The first year, this caused a fight so brutal that it almost ended our relationship; for the two years after that, we pretty much pretended that the day didn't exist. I think I was always disappointed, but never knew how to tell him so. It was hard to spend the day on campus, watching boys walking around with bunches of flowers in their hands and girls clutching little stuffed animals holding stuffed hearts in their stufffed hands. I felt like I wasn't special enough for him to want to put forth the effort on, but now I've come to realize that different people express themselves in different ways. I may love valentine's day, but most guys I know are terrified of it and feel a huge amount of pressure to live up to the expectations of their girlfriends. This year, I'm trying not to have expectations. Steve and I didn't really celebrate last year (I think I wrote him a card and took him out to dinner at Woodenheads) and hopefully this year, we can just spend time together. Isn't that the most important thing, anyway?

Anyway, for those of you who are interested, here are a few telling facts about Valentine's Day that I dug up from various sources last night, while unable to sleep :)

-There are 120 single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages

-The Canadian median ages at first marriage for women and men are 25.1 and 27.4 respectively, in 2004. The age for women and men were almost 5 years lower in the year that I was born (1983), where people got married at 21 and 23, respectively.

- In order of popularity, Valentine's Day cards are given to: teachers, children, mothers, wives, sweethearts, Koko the gorilla

- The expression "wearing your heart on your sleeve" comes from a Valentine's Day party tradition. Young women would write their names on slips of paper to be drawn by young men. A man would then wear a woman's name on his sleeve to claim her as his valentine

- About 15% of women in the US send themselves flowers on Valentines

- In the Middle Ages, they also believed that the first unmarried person of the opposite sex you met on the morning of St Valentine's Day, would become your spouse.

- In the Middle Ages, they also believed that the first unmarried person of the opposite sex you met on the morning of St Valentine's Day, would become your spouse.

- About 78% of Valentine's Day cards are purchased by women



Even if you're not with a special person today (and especially if you are!), take the time to tell someone that you love them. Send an online Valentine to your parents, your brother, your dog, or your best friend from university - there's someting about the spirit of this day that is still amazing, despite all of commercial hoopla that we all love to complain about.

-B