On Gratitude, Again

I'm waiting for the ferry - since it's the end of the holiday, there's a three-sailing wait for cars and a full berth of walk ons, myself included. Since it's so busy, I'm curled up in the corner of the sunny waiting room with my computer, trying to pass the time.

I read through my diary, like the whole thing, last night. A lot of what I've been thinking and feeling lately has been really negative and I was thinking that being unhappy is a really toxic way to be living. I'm sick of waking up at 6:30 every morning and not feeling good - not feeling good about my job or my current situation or my body or whatever. It does nothing but bring me down. So I'm going to try to get back into the habit of looking for and expressing gratitude. I need to come home every night with five things that I am thankful for. Whether or not my day was good or awful, whether or not I find a new job or meet more people in Toronto, looking for things to be thankful for will essentially turn my attitude around; instead of looking for and expecting the negative, I want to focus on the positive. If all I can do every day from now until next september is be thankful for 5 things that I have, that will be enough. If the only prayer I give is thanks, that will be enough.

Today, I'm thankful for the energy to clean, make beds and get organized -- it's not often that you wake up in the morning and feel ready to tackle your literal and proverbial mess. I'm thankful for my mom, who is resiliant and perceptive and strong; she keeps on getting up when she gets knocked down and is an inspiration to me. I am thankful for my little dog Waldo, who curls up at my neck at 6 in the morning, keeping me warm. I'm thankful that I can sleep with my window open, breathing fresh fresh fresh air all night long. Finally, I'm thankful for a beautiful day for a ferry ride. The sun is low over the ocean and the wind feels crisp but not cold, and I am looking forward to finding a window seat and indulging in a good book for the hour-and-a-half trip to Victoria.

It was easier than I thought. I will keep my eyes open for these thankful moments from now on.